Twas the night before Christmas, aboard every deck and shore,Not a razor was stirring, not a beard left unadored.The mugs were hung by the sink with care,In hopes that Captain Kringle soon would be there.
The crew were all nestled, snug in their beds,While visions of lather and bay rum filled heads.With balms capped tight and brushes laid flat,All waiting for wonders and wherewithal like that.
When out on the waves there arose such a clatter,I sprang from my bunk to see what was the matter.Away to the porthole I flew like a gale,Peeked out past the stars and the moon-silvered sail.
The glow of a lantern on fresh fallen snowGave a luster of legend to the sea down below.When what to my wondering eyes should appear,But a black-hulled ship and a captain full of cheer.
With a grin sharp as cutlass and coat trimmed in red,I knew in a moment Captain Kringle had sped.More rapid than trade winds his orders they came,And he whistled and called every scent by its name:
Now Cedar! Now Spice! Now Holly and Sea!On Bay Rum! On Clove! On Woods rich and free!Fill the mugs! Stock the shelves! Let the good lather flow!This crew’s been well kept, and I reckon they know!
He sprang to the deck, his boots light as foam,Left cheer in each cabin, then sailed off for home.But I heard him exclaim as his ship slipped from sight:
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a smooth night!
From all of us here at Black Ship Grooming Co.,May your days be warm, your spirits high, and your beard ever true.Thank you for being part of our crew this year.From our ship to yours… Merry Christmas 🎄🏴☠️—
Captain Kringle & Crew
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